In defiance of “awkward”
While the accelerating pace of species extinction is alarming to many, I’m convinced that one animal really needs to die: the awkward turtle.
For th
e uninitiated (and probably more mature), the “awkward turtle” is a hand gesture that may emerge when a conversation suddenly enters awkward territory. (e.g. “Oh, you received their wedding invitation a week ago. I didn’t get mine yet, hmmm….”)
I assert that the unchecked growth of this species is damaging the entire conversational ecosystem. I believe the elevated awareness and taboo of “awkward” is inhibiting conversational risk-taking—to the detriment of teams and relationships. I have cringed many a time as someone says, “Oh, I’d like to just come out and say that…but that’d probably be awkward.” In this sentence, “awkward” is really just an in-vogue synonym for an ancient adjective: scary. Diagram time…
(Yes, it’s a 2-by-2. Guilty as charged. Bain-esque thinking still stirs deep within me.)
It’s important to disentangle what feels awkward from what should be done. Many things naturally feel awkward—and they should. This internal sense of awkward protects us from doing things that would be self-destructive. Slapping your boss’s face when he’s in mid-sentence would create an awkward dynamic. (And possibly a violent or hilarious mood as well.) Similarly, showing up to class naked would also create an awkward vibe, as I’ve experienced many times in that recurring dream.
Conversely, there are other things that don’t feel awkward at all—that shouldn’t. Eating, drinking, and sleeping all come completely naturally and non-awkwardly because we need to do them to survive.
The real trouble is when we don’t do the things that are “awkward” that we should do. You probably really should:
• Deliver that tough feedback to a peer, underling, or boss
• Confront your close friend about his self-destructive habit
• Call that tenuous Facebook acquaintance to ask for her uniquely needed expertise
• Demand excellence and accountability to outcomes from your teammates
You could call all of these circumstances awkward. Or, if you’re brutally honest with yourself, you could also just say you’re scared.
Fear is fine; fear happens! I say: dig deep, summon conversational courage, and take the plunge. Be vigilant against confusing the good-awkward of tough conversation with the bad-awkward of streaking. Teamwork, relationships, accountability—all can produce awkward situations both good and bad…just don’t let that turtle crawl into your psyche and dissuade you from boldly tackling good-awkward situations.
Rant complete.
This is definitely correct! I could not possibly agree more. We have entered a society where critical thinking and constructive criticism are supposed to occur people wiggle their thumbs while their hands are stacked. This has had offshoots into several other “awkward” symbols and I quite simply wish these had never crept into our daily conversational style and more importantly our way of thinking.
It has become for some a cop out for their brain to shut down and not give honest and open assessments of what is truly occurring. There are many good awkward things that we must do in our lives, although I for one am not particularly fond of or for that matter good at certain of them (ex. asking for a date) but these all challenge us in ways that we are not normally and to grow as individuals and as a culture and people we must be repeatedly be taken outside of our comfort zones so that that zone expands to include these new territories.
What is hardest for you to do because it is high in good idea-ness but also high in awkwardness?
Comments & Accountability Welcomed!!!
There is a quote floating around out there that goes something like this… “Do something that scares you everyday!”