by Pete Mockaitis on December 15, 2010
Recently, I was speaking at a legal fraternity’s national pre-law conference. In preparing for the event, I learned about one of the most frequently-asked questions: “If we have an open membership policy, how can I make people do things?” I chuckled because I have asked myself the same question many times—even inside organizations that made people jump through massive hoops to join.
So, I’ll share my response, brought about from years of pondering and research: You can’t make people do things! Human free will and differing motivation make it impossible for one person to make another do anything. However, there’s plenty we can do to influence others to do things. The best book I’ve read on this topic comes from social psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini. It’s called Influence: Science and Practice. (Note: This book’s content is almost identical to Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, but quite different from Influence by the Olson twins.)
In the book, he shares six “weapons of influence.” Below is a quick rundown.
1) Reciprocity
People feel a strong need to reciprocate giving. If you get an unexpected Christmas present, you’ll probably scramble to find something to give back to your gift-giver. This is why nonprofits put little address labels or other tiny gifts in the mail with their solicitations. The same works for favors. I know some folks who have proactively, generously gone above-and-beyond in sharing their time, wisdom, and networks to help my business grow; I leap at whatever opportunity I have to repay the favor. After all, “I owe them.” Cialdini offers a brilliant response to invoke reciprocity whenever someone expresses gratitude. He suggests that you never say, “it’s nothing.” Instead say, “I know you’d do the same for me.” Sneaky, huh?!
2) Commitment / Consistency
Humans want to be consistent with their commitments, words, and others’ expectations of them. Just imagine a child saying, “But you promised!” Indeed, we have all sorts of nasty names for people who don’t live up to their word; nobody wants to be one of those. Recently a friend convinced me against my better judgment to go party with him on a school night. He texted: “A lot of people will be disappointed if you don’t come; it’s not like Petus Maximus to disappoint a crowd.” Brutal!
3) Social Proof
Your mother may have asked you, “If everybody was jumping off a cliff, would you?” Well, if everyone looked like they were having a blast, and emerged at the bottom with all their limbs…you probably would. Indeed, Cialdini’s research highlights that people observe others to determine acceptable behaviors. This is particularly applicable in ambiguous environments. I love observing this with children who haven’t quite developed their humor faculties. When there’s a quality joke on the TV, the children don’t laugh, immediately—but rather look around to see others laugh. Then they deliver a forced, delayed laugh. We’re not that much different.
4) Liking
People like to do things for people they like, and not do things for people they don’t. It’s just that simple. Some salespeople you love and believe they’ve got your best interests at heart; others seem like they only view you as a commission opportunity. The first salesperson will probably get your business. Jeffrey Gitomer says it well: “All things being equal, people want to do business with their friends. All things being not quite so equal, people still want to do business with their friends.”
5) Authority
The spooky Stanley Milgram experiment shows just how powerful authority can be. Indeed, 65% of participants administered a “dangerous” electric shock to another human being merely because the authority figure insisted. Folks can go to great lengths to impress or comply with an authority figure. Earning the authority in the first place is the tough part.
6) Scarcity
When something seems rare, people assume it’s more valuable. Scarcity applies to physical items, opportunities, or an amount of time to take action. The Beanie Baby craze occurred largely due to particular animals’ limited availability. Groupon is also based on this whole principle. The deal is up for only one day. You may not have though you needed that 50%-off massage, but it’s only available today!
Employing these “weapons of influence”—ethically, of course—won’t enable you to make people do things, but they sure can help.
by Pete Mockaitis on October 26, 2010
Halloween always seems to sneak up on me. Not this year. This year, I’m packing a premium lycra/spandex Christopher-Reeve-style Superman costume custom-made to my specific measurements. And yes, I promise this post has a point.
Insiders know I’ve sought a quality Superman ensemble since my childhood Superman pajamas fell apart due to excessive wear around town. But the harsh reality is…adults can pay $300 for an off-the-rack Superman costume that doesn’t even include real boots! In early October, my thoughtful mother mailed me a pair of red boots. The die was cast; there was no turning back. Thanks to some web searches, a measuring tape, and the handiwork of bit9007 on ebay, the dream has finally come alive. (See picture.)
The loyal reader cries out “Pete! We don’t subscribe to your blog [great idea, BTW] to hear about your Halloween costume. Give me something meaty to ponder and use!” Okay, here it is: the reason I want to be Superman is I believe we are called to be superheroes. To use our unique talents (“superpowers” if you will) in service to others.
This mortal superhero concept first came to me when I saw Spiderman 2 and was unexpectedly rocked with massive inspiration. Should you care for additional detail from a 20.8-year-old Pete, I’ve pasted in my journal entry from that day. So this Halloween—when you see legends of Marvel and DC scurrying about town—ask yourself what you have to offer humanity.
I just saw Spiderman 2 and I’m just so inspired. This movie reaffirmed the thoughts I had when I saw the first movie. Namely, that I want to be a superhero. I wanted to be a superhero since I was a little boy. I would always watch Superman and read the Spiderman comic books. And that’s what I want now.
Before I ever danced around this temporary Pittsburgh apartment imagining my first book deal, I used to dance around my living room—fighting imaginary bad guys and saving the day. My mom caught me once. I was a bit embarrassed since I was rather old to be pretending to be superhero, but I did so nonetheless. I had to explain that I was Spiderman, Superman, Daredevil, the Incredible Hulk, or whoever was saving the village from the evil people. She seemed to be proud. As a youngster, I would sometimes encourage other children to whack me with large sticks. I would insist that—due to the large S on my styling Superman T—I was impervious to their blows. I pretended that it didn’t hurt when they hit me, and impressed them when they would crack large limbs against my frame. Once, Jeff and I got these Superman shirts and had multiple holes torn in them the first day because we were climbing trees with our invincible selves.
Before I dreamt of joining a top tier strategy consulting firm, I wanted to fly about like Superman. Years prior to reading Unlimited Power, I was mesmerized by Spiderman’s exploits in slimmer volumes at $1.25 a pop. When I was little I yearned to have their superpowers. Over time, I had pretty much accepted that they were fictitious characters and that their exploits were impossible. Then I saw David Copperfield fly around on stage. I remember trying to fly, thinking I could fly if I only believed in myself enough. My parents, concerned for my safety, dispelled this potentially perilous belief. Mr. Copperfield was only performing an illusion, they explained. When pressed, they were unable to explain how he did it, so I remain convinced that he did do it. I cried and cried when it sunk in that I couldn’t really fly. That night I dreamt I was flying and it was glorious. The next morning I realized it was a dream and wept more.
As I matured, I still craved superpowers, but they took different forms. I swapped flying for a flawless memory, web-spinning for writing skills, and super-strength for speaking ability. But I don’t think this dream will ever die. I want to be a superhero. And I’ve decided I’m going to be. Superman remains my inspiration to this day—just 71 days before the age of majority. Two months before bars and mutual funds open their doors to me, at the age of 20.8, I still want to be Superman.
I realize that I will never be as fast as Superman, or as strong, or look as sexy in that sleek costume. But I think that a superhero only needs two things: superpowers and a commitment to use them for mankind’s betterment. Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Pope John Paul II—these people are superheroes. I’d even say Dale Carnegie and Stephen Covey are superheroes, since they use their knowledge to enrich the lives of so many.
So, I’m going to call a “superpower” something that a person can do better than about 97% of humanity. Hey, that’s pretty phenomenal, if you ask me. If a human being fully uses his or her greatest talents for the good of humanity, then that person is a superhero. Plain and simple. I want to do just that. Once again, I shall reflect upon the things that I can do best. Then let us look at causes / avenues to which these things can be applied for mankind’s benefit. I feel like I’ve done this before, but have not yet become a superhero. I’m starting a superhero worksheet.
